In lieu of my recent displeasure with Carl’s Junior’s mode of advertising, a PR person responded to me, and this response apparently was kinder than the responses others have received; it also sported a promise to forward my request up the line. In hopes that we may have redress, I share their response with you, loyal readers.
If you’re one of those people who consider themselves “forward thinkers”, you might raise your finger at me in a philosophical way as you push your glasses up your nose and tell me with condescension that Carl’s Junior has every right to advertise themselves however they want; I will push your glasses farther up your nose and tell you that you are correct. I will further tell you, however, that I have every right to be displeased with any company who vies for my patronism, and I also have the right (and the duty) to invite them to alter their methods or else say farewell to my money. Surely even the forward thinkers of the world can wrap their heads around the fairness of that as they kick and scream about the fairness of everything else. I won’t go into morals here, though, because the forward thinkers of the world have all but done away with them except for murder and similar extremes, and we the people can’t use them as grounds for reform anymore.
Now, for the response. As I anticipated, their vocabulary replaces our common words of “sexually stimulating”, “immoral”, and “inappropriate” with the much more positive “creative” and “entertaining content”. You see, apart from the hard-core pornographees, nobody is going to watch anything that’s “immoral” or “inappropriate”, but everyone loves creativity and entertainment as long as the media tells them that that’s what it is! Just rip the “POISON” label off of the bottle and print out a billion colorful “A BOTTLE O’ FUN!” stickers, and you’ll be able to kill off a billion families in a week and be all the richer for it, especially if you pay off the People in Charge to cover it up for you with shouts of “Rights!”, “Freedom!”, “Entitlements!”, “Tolerance!”, and, somehow, “Global Warming!”.
Oh, and I mean no offense to the people with glasses.
Dear Mr. Jordan Spencer Cunningham,
Thank you for taking the time to share your comments with us.
CKE Restaurants, Inc., owner and franchisor of Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s restaurants, adopts a creative approach to our advertising. We do not aim to offend anyone with our efforts, but merely to offer entertaining content. We understand that not everyone may view our advertising the same way, so we respect all views and welcome all comments.
We regret that you were displeased with our advertising promotion. Your feedback is very important to us, and I have passed your comments on to our marketing department and senior management. Thank you again for taking the time to contact us.
[Name Withheld for Obvious Reasons]
Carl’s Jr. Guest Relation