Three Hours with Netflix

by Jordan Spencer Cunningham on

Since I recently purchased a Wii for the sole purpose of playing Zelda: Skyward Sword (despite how I’ve no time to do so), I thought I might try out Netflix finally and see what all the hype is about. I was sorely disappointed.

Firstly, even though I elected to do the 15-day free trial, Netflix still charged my account as if I was going to stay with the service. Bad move, Netflix.

Despite being slightly perturbed at this, I determined to see what it was like; I thought that perhaps I’d even stay with the service. So I started to browse. And browse. And since I figured all of the popular and crappy movies would be featured, I just knew that searching for good movies by title would give me what I was looking for. No. No Up. No Finding Neverland. Not really much of anything, really. As I browsed and searched and searched and browsed, it became apparent to me that Netflix’ selection firstly wasn’t as big and unlimited as people make it seem and secondly was comprised of the following:

  • 35% gently to extremely pornographic films
  • 35% wanna-be Disney/Pixar films or forgotten and worthless films
  • 15% Disney fodder films and the like (Hannah Montanna, Cinderella III, Little Mermaid VIII, Land Before Time MCXVII Part III &tc.)
  • 5% other types of worthless films
  • 10% films actually worth watching

I felt like I was having to wade through sewage just to find a loaf of bread, and I had to pay the fellow guarding the manhole $8.54 (including tax) just to get in to a place that my toilet gets access to for free. Even their “classics” section was mostly trash– not even one Gary Cooper or Jimmy Stewart film, but a good portion of somewhat steamy to downright sleazy old movies that our grandparents used to be afraid of.

So I called up Netflix, told them that I was tricked into paying them (because I was– I specifically selected the 15-day free trial), and demanded my moneys back. I can at least say that their customer service goes far beyond their marketed service, and I am now the proud possessor of $8.54 that entered Netflix’s vaults and came back to tell the tale.

My take on Netflix? Pay a little extra to own the things you want yourself instead of being at the mercy of mega-companies’ whims and business deals (I hear Netflix won’t have any Disney/Pixar films until 2016 due to some business deals). I don’t understand what all the hype about paying $8.00 a month (around $100 a year) to get mostly crap is about. It’s almost like paying ridiculous monthly fees for cable or satellite television– 1,000 channels of constant worthlessness and time-wasting with commercials! One actually pays to see more commercials! How silly. At least with Netflix you’re paying less for less of nothing where cable and satellite customers are paying more for more of nothing.